My Name is Selfish

The dictionary meaning of the word is 'concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure'.

Now that you know the details, let's delve into the days when we were trying to find who we really were. I mean School and College time. 

I will tell you about a guy who was my classmate. His name was Indra.

He was very well behaved and was ready to help one and all. Short in height with thin caricature, he was always smiling and welcoming. He attended all the classes and almost everyone else contacted him for notes and home works. 

Girls considered him harmless and were often found in his company. Slowly but surely, he became an integral part of everyone's life. Some colleagues went a step further and started giving him names that were softer at first but gradually went into the insult category. After some time, all the good and cute names vanished and the insulting ones tagged along.

With name, came the tone of voice which went gradually from friendly to sarcastic to rude. Not everyone treated him like that but no of the people adopting this habit started going up. Many felt as if it was his duty to help them. Practical notebooks of many of them were practically completed by him.

One day, the teacher found some mistakes in one of the assignments done by Indra for one of our colleagues, Suraj. The teacher was in bad mood and slapped Suraj hard. He returned and slapped Indra calling him names. It was a bit shocking for all of us. Then suddenly, Indra stood up and stayed there for a few minutes and walked away.

I was concerned about his well being and hence went to his home on the evening of the incident. He was upset and then after some time started crying. I requested him to be normal so that we could analyze the situation. 

After nearly an hour, he got sober and then said, "I had no intention of doing the mistake. It happened and I was not expecting that I will be slapped even after helping him so many times. He is such a loser. I have helped him several times. He helped me in a few situations when I was new here but now he always reminds me of that and that forces me to be nice to him. I feel like I am in a never-ending loop with that bully".

I said, "Do you believe that all human beings are emotional creatures and not logical ones as wonderfully suggested by Dale Carnegie?"

Indra said," I have no damn clue what the hell are you talking about".

I said, "At times even I don't have any clue about my words as well but this time  I think I know what I am talking about."

Indra said, " Will you be kind enough to elaborate?"

I said," Of course! You are a human being and although Suraj is not acting like one now, is as well.  That means you both act according to your emotion which is just an expression of your deeply held beliefs. You chose to become a nice guy because of your environment of childhood and he acts like a bully because of the same. Many people are unaware of child psychology but they have children anyway and that leads to such cases".

Indra said, "I am not getting you. What do you want to say?"

I said, "Do you agree that all species are in their natural state when they are born?"

Indra said, " Yes! they are. Without the influence of people and society around them."

I said, " You are also aware that when you are aligned with the natural flow, you are at your best. That is one of the prime reasons why children are happier & content more than all the other age groups." 

Indra said, " I really miss my childhood days. It seemed that all of life's problems could be solved by my parents. I still miss those days."

I said, " The days were golden indeed but let me ask you a question. Have you ever seen any child of any species keeping  others needs over theirs?"

Indra said, " True! For all the babies on earth, they are most important for at least themselves and do everything in their power to get their needs fulfilled."

I said, " That is a god-given quality for everyone. It's natural. It's going with the flow of nature and hence being at your best."

"The contamination of the character takes place when a child trying to fulfill its needs is met by ignorance and at times scolding. It affects them deeply if parents are culprits for giving them such treatment. When they see that their needs are the reason for trouble for people around them, they start feeling bad for it. It's in our nature to try and do something to feel good and hence this belief is rooted inside us that our needs are bad. We suppress our basic instinct just to be accepted by people around us." I continued.

Indra was nodding his head. He then spoke, " I can relate to it. And when we start our action against our own nature, then we are always facing an internal conflict. If our words, thoughts, and actions are not linear, then we are bound to be a mental mess".

I was amazed to hear his last line and pondered over it. All the confusion in life would definitely come to an end if we think, speak, and do the same thing. Why we mess up simple things and get entangled?

I said," Very well said, my friend. This internal conflict gets rooted in our personality and we become a shadow of our true self and just to be accepted by people around us, we hide our face which helps us in getting blended among fake people and their fake morality. They are all liars if you stare at them in their eyes. This is all a bad joke."

"I understand it but how I could have avoided my shitty situation?", Indra asked.

I replied, " Don't you get it? All the problems could have been avoided if only you respected yourself enough to put up your needs above everyone else's. Your need to be respected, your need to be treated fairly, your need to express yourself out at the first sign of exploitation, your need to be happy, your need to be honest with yourself. You kept oppressing yourself leading to the form of physical abuse you received today. You chose to be submissive to that idiot and ignored your need for respect. You have tormented yourself far more than anyone can ever torment you".

Indra shuddered. He stared at me as if I was some ghost.

I continued," If you are not fair to yourself, how can you expect others to be fair to you. Before helping others, help yourself. Before finding fault in others look deep inside and focus on your well-being. You can truly help others only from a position of power. You need to get there before trying to help others. They may call you names for putting yourself first but they don't matter. If you are good enough, everyone falls back to the line. There is a reason they say in flights that you need to put up your oxygen masks before helping others."

"I am getting your point. I should have stood up to him at the very beginning but what is the reason you think is of his behavior?", Indra asked.

" Fear", I said.

"Fear of what?", Indra asked

"Fear of being incompetent. Deep inside, he is aware of his true self and is shit scared of it. But facing his problems and addressing them is a tough ask so in order to feel better, he showcases him as someone who is menacing and everyone should stay at a distance from him. He is scared if someone comes close enough, his true identity of incompetence will be revealed, "I finished.

Many years passed.

Two parrots were flying in the sky. One was called Altruist and the other one was called Selfish.

They were discussing the above story among themselves.

Altruist said," I thought being me is great but this man highlighted how important you are. You are really necessary. I now think that to be truly me, one must accept you completely. You really complete me."

 Selfish said," I always keep saying that I am important but no one acknowledges me. They are running blindly behind their corrupt sense of righteousness. They should not forget that I am their basic character on which they have survived so long. I am the logic behind the 'Survival of the fittest'. I am the cause of their existence. They must embrace me and remember my name. My name is Selfish".