Being Happy

I know that you have suffered a big loss but that should not stop you from leading a normal life!Rahul said to his wife Radha who looked very sad.

Radha lost her mother three months ago and since then, life was far far away from normal for both of them.Once ever-smiling Radha appeared no longer the same person.She cried in the middle of the night someday and on someday her tears welcomed Rahul early in the morning.

He on the other hand tried his best to somehow bring normalcy to the family but best is not good enough was his new normal.

Radha!Are we going to spend our forthcoming future like this?Rahul asked finally.

Do you have any idea how I am feeling now? Radha asked, her voice lower than normal.

Rahul understood it well that when a question is answered by another question,things are not going well.He decided to continue this conversation in the softest tone of voice he could manage.

I can completely understand you.I know exactly what you are feeling now as I too lost my papa six years ago.It is really difficult to loose someone who gave you your chromosomes . Rahul said immediately feeling awkward for using a core biological term.

Radha stared him,her eyes wet.No words came out of her mouth.

Rahul found the silence deafening and decided to break it.

Let's look at this situation completely.Life and death are not decided by us.Perfectly described by Goswami Tulsidas

सुनहु भरत भावी प्रबल बिलखि कहेउ मुनिनाथ।
हानि लाभु जीवनु मरनु जसु अपजसु बिधि हाथ॥

So if nothing can be done about it then there is no point in not moving forward.

Move forward to go where? said Radha visibly in agony.

I don't feel like moving anywhere.It feels as if I am no longer complete,as if a part of me died with her.Tears were ready to fall which meant more trouble for Rahul.

 He gathered courage and said,'You are justified if you are feeling so.But from a different angle where I am standing,I feel as if you are not half dead but she is half alive inside you'. 

What do you mean and where is that goddamn angle?asked Radha,a bit irritated.

Rahul was relieved . It was extremely important that she poured out what was boiling inside her.He said,'I have two requests for you.First,please don't feel that you are alone in this battle against your pain and emotions'.

He spoke nothing after that.A few moments passed.No one spoke anything. 

What is the second request?Radha asked.

It was a good sign as it showed that she was actively participating which further meant that this conversation was able to drift her mind away.

The second request is to allow me to explain what I meant when I said that you are not dead but she is alive,Rahul said.

I am listening!Radha said.

You are well aware that out of 46 chromosomes that you have,23 came from your mother and 23 from your father.Since you are still alive means a part of her is alive inside you.You are going to pass on this genetic information to the next generation.That means even when you die,some part of you and in continuation of her will continue to live. Extrapolate this theory for all the previous generations and all the coming generations,she was alive,she is alive and she will live forever.

I believe this is what lord Krishna meant when he said that the soul is always alive.

Think of it as a relay race.She passed on her baton to you and left her old and crumbling body to rest in peace.Now it's your time to run and then, when the time comes,pass on the baton to the next you.

What you say makes sense to me,Radha said.

Great!Now I am sure that you want to keep her happy,Rahul said.

At any cost,said Radha.

Then BE HAPPY and STAY HAPPY as she is inside you and will be forced to feel exactly what you feel.You are no longer two but one now. 

I will try my best,said Radha.

Please remember, its never the body but always the soul.These  immortal lines by Dr Harivansh Rai Bachchan will help you focus

मृदु मिटटी के हैं बने हुए
मधु घट फूटा ही करते हैं

लघु जीवन लेकर आए हैं
प्याले टूटा ही करते हैं

वह कच्चा पीने वाला है
जिसकी ममता घट प्यालों पर
जो सच्चे मधु से जला हुआ
कब रोता है चिल्लाता है।